Modern Hussy’s Etiquette

By the Modern Hussy

Dear New Readers: This post is a contribution to a series of posts called ‘Knowing what to Wear When…’ which deals with selecting proper attire for proper occasions. You can see older entries here and here. Enjoy!

I semi recently moved to a city which requires proper winter gear. I have lived in places where a good leather jacket with well chosen under layers got me through January and February, but I now find myself in a place where people actually wear balaclavas just to walk to the Metro.

Winter is tricky.

Between being outdoors, taking public, frequenting an office or restaurant, the temperature fluctuations make it really difficult to know just how many layers one needs to be comfortable.

Winter CAN take a toll on your fashion choices and before you know it, you are leaving the house looking like someone’s Asian grandma. The other extreme is potentially even more horrendous, aka leaving the house underdressed and looking like a miserable pretentious asshole as you freeze your bum off.

Here are some surefire tips to keep you looking stylish and warm all winter long:

1. Extremities: your feet, hands and head are the parts of the body that lose the most heat. If you keep those warm, the rest of you will feel good too. Invest in a good pair of waterproof winter boots. You are not a teenager in the 90s anymore, and functional footwear is totally ok now-look at Tory Burch making duck boots, and Chloe selling MoonBoots for over 450$. (On that note I beg you to not purchase either one of those styles are they are horrendous, but you get the point- functional footwear is now high fashion.)  Get yourself some nice fuzzy mitten/hat/scarf combos to match any outfit.

2. Your Jacket:  layering 7 sweaters under your fall wool coat is only lying to yourself. The layers make you look bulky and your movement is restricted. How about you just get a warm jacket that is filled AND waterproof. I own a classic leather down filled parka which is so warm that I only need to wear a light sweater underneath to be totally cozy and look well put together in a blizzard. (That calf and those ducks are living out their destiny). Now, I’m probably going to piss off a lot of people, but getting the same Canada Goose or Mackage coat as every bitch in town is a cop out.  Be creative, find your own style and try to keep your logos to a minimum.

3. Hoods: I can guarantee that you will feel 30% warmer if you get yourself a jacket with a hood.  Plus it makes you look adorable.

4. Things that look good under your winter gear = skinny jeans, thick fuzzy leggings, opaque wool tights. Things that do not look good under your winter gear = nude or brown leggings, sheer pantyhose, wide legged jeans, or – horror of horrors – bare legs. Note: wearing tracky pants is only ok if you are going to the gym or heading out for leisure activities.

5. Carrying all your stuff: in the winter you will generally carry more things with you as you make your way to work: larger warmuppable lunch, shoes to change into, etc. This is totally ok, but choose your bag carefully. First of all it needs to be big enough to contain ALL your belongings.  Having multiple packages makes you look disheveled.  At the same time, don’t over do it.  Prancing around with a hockey bag is unbecoming and makes you look like you are incapable of planning ahead. Personally, I keep about 3 pairs of heels in my filing cabinet at work.

6. Things you should NEVER pair = high heeled boots with backpacks. I cannot even begin to rant about how ridiculous this looks. Also, high-heeled boots with sporty ski like jacket. It is beyond me why anyone would want to wear high heeled boots in the snow (I see ladies awkwardly maneuver around trying to remain vertical in their chunky heels on ice), and I vote for getting flat winter footwear. If you absolutely must do it, make sure you are wearing a wool or leather coat that matches your footwear, and a shoulder bag of non sporty nature.

7. Tractor bottom wedges are a totally acceptable way of cheating everyone into thinking that you are way more dressed up than you are. Going out in your winter boots is kiiinda sloppy. Wedges make it seem as if you wore high shoes, but in reality you get to stomp over the snow banks, while the tractor sole keeps you upright.  Total win.

8. Layering: Temperature fluctuations are a given this time of year and you want to keep your layers versatile. Opt for button up cardis, and t-shirts as opposed to tank tops underneath, so that you can remove layers without being too naked. Being a sweaty mess in the winter is possible and quite unbecoming.

9. Clubbing: I see it all the time. Girls heading out in the evening wearing sheer pantyhose and OPEN TOE SHOES in -20 degree weather. It makes me half giggle, half want to smack them across the excessively lipsticked mouth.  There is nothing sexy about frostbite. There ARE ways of looking good for the club even on the coldest nights.

Stay Warm!

Love, Modern Hussy.

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