Modern Hussy’s Etiquette

By the Modern Hussy

This week’s post comes to us via a question from my dear friend TLD. She writes:

You know what I’ve been wondering lately, Hussy? Should I be dressing differently now that I’m 30? I think about it in my jean cutoffs and ppl descend to me cuz they think I’m 20…

This is a very valid question, made even more valid by the fact that TLD looks much younger than she is. This happens to a lot of people I know in their thirties (self included).

Most of us have jobs that do not require a true business wardrobe and most stores now carry items that blur the line between teen and adult. As a result, you are left with a slew of shorty short wearing, sneaker wedge sporting, loose tanktopped women whose outfit matches perfectly that of girls fifteen years their junior.

Back in the day (in the 80s and 90s) there was a defining point of when a female went from girl to woman. This usually came with marriage or the birth of a child- which happened in her twenties.

Saying “I do” or pushing a baby out seemingly got one a lobotomy as well, and women would trade their jumpers and their torn denim and their doc martens and their pigtails for palazzo pants, a simple blouse and sensible footwear (blarg). These days, marriage is scarce and childbirth seems to encourage people to dress their babies up like tiny little hipster versions of themselves.

I decided to conduct a real life experiment using my corporate office as a petri dish. I traded my sneakers, tanks and shorty shorts for button ups, high wasted skirts and huge heels. Just for a week. I actually got up a whole ten min earlier and applied make up. And blew dried my hair. The result? The big bosses actually started asking my opinion in meetings, and everyone was a whole lot nicer.

So, the shallow jury is in. When you put effort into what you are wearing and you make it appropriate to the situation, people treat you with more respect.

With that said, note that there are exceptions to every rule.

One of my besties conducts really important board meetings wearing a unicorn hoodie and looking about 18. But, she is a business shark and can talk any CEO into increasing her budget.

So, wear whatever you want, if you can still hold your own with your brain. If you are 30 but dress like you are 20 and act like you are 20, then you got problems. But if you are a smart cookie and like young fashion, then fuck all the cunts that condescend you, they are just jealous that they are starting to ‘look their age’ and have to wear spanks to formal events.

The key to balancing your age and your clothing preferences is to ask yourself a few simple questions before leaving the house:

1. Do I look like a 35 year old Lolita?
2. Did I used to wear this to rave parties 10 years ago?*
3. Am I wearing anything old or ripped (in a non fashionable way)?
4. Did this come from H&M for kids?
5. Am I wearing too many accessories?

If you answered yes, you definitely want to take a second look at what you have on. No one wants to appear matronly, so don’t feel the need to shop on the third floor of the department store (career woman, blargh). Just rock your own style, update it with some key pieces and dress for the situation.

*The 90’s are back and rave fashion is just around the corner, kiddies. I hope you kept your SNUG pants!

Luv M.H.

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