Modern Hussy’s Etiquette

The Modern Hussy

Skinny chicks have it easy.

They are kind of like a coat rack and can get away with throwing on a long t-shirt and wearing it as a dress while looking totally fabulous.

This is why I really admire girls with curves who know how to pull themselves together in a sexy yet tasteful manner. Today’s post is for one of my awesome readers who asked how to successfully dress for curves.

So, here are my tips If you got a big booty and tits:

1. Accentuate the waist. Thank gah for madmen bringing voluptuous sexy back. Apparently Christina Hendricks is the same height and weight as me, however this is total proof that weight can be differently distributed from person to person as our figures have noooooothing in common… But I digress.

Chinch at the waist! Always. Don’t have a waist? Get a hoola hoop and a yoga matt for sit-ups and ensure that your top and your bottom are out further than your middle. Seriously, you will have dudes panting at you as you badunka dunk your way around.

Dudes LOVE the hourglass. And many love it a whole lot more than a skinny chick. This means buy dresses with a waist, get some cool belts and avoid the empire waist (makes EVERYONE look preggers.)

2. Avoid all over prints. Sorry ladies but the oh-so-hot Zara floral (barf) is not for you. Stick to solids, as busy all over prints make objects look larger than they appear. With that said you can deffo get away with a geometric or super simple print on one part of your body (top OR bottom, not both).

3. Watch the hemline. I give this advice to girls of all sizes and also I am the biggest fan of short shorts in the world, but remember that showing too much flesh is bad. Be wary of cellulite and large parts of the leg, and cover up appropriately. It’s amazing how much more class an extra inch or two can give you.

4. Watch the tight stuff! Everyone loves wearing a tube of stretchy material and calling it a skirt, but make sure that you stay balanced. Wear a looser top and make sure your tight skirt is the right size for you. Looking like a series of encased sausages is really unappetizing. Longer skirts will create the illusion of height making you appear slimmer.

5. Obviously I’m going to talk about shoes…  Again, stay balanced. My feet are quite small relatively to how tall I am so when wearing ballet flats my thighs look like full prosciutto legs. My feet seem so small in comparison. If you have big legs wear boots, wedges, or heels with skirts, and reserve your ballerinas to be worn with pants.

6. If you are bottom heavy, avoid items that accentuate the hips. Tapered pants and tiiiight skirts might not look as good on you as flowing skirts and looser pants. Avoid pleats, pockets or any details around the hips and belly.

7. You are going to have to ignore some trends. I do this all the time. Just because all the girls are wearing shapeless caftan dresses in floral prints doesn’t mean I should. Find items that flatter your figure and stick with them. You can still stay on trend via shoes and relevant colour schemes, but create your own kick ass flattering personal style!

Easy, right?


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