Modern Hussy’s Etiquette

By the Modern Hussy

So, you’ve done it.

You finally sealed the deal and slept with the guy you have been dating (on whichever date you feel is appropriate for promiscuous behaviour).

Congratulations!

While I personally prefer to bring boys back to my place to the safety, cleanliness and comfort of my own environment, I understand how sometimes the night steers you towards his flat.

I hope you had a lot of fun, and that the jiggyness was awesome  (use protection!!!!)

It is six hours later and you have just woken up next to your lover for the first time…

What now?

Even if you have been dating and your night was super, the first morning-after can be a little bit awkward, as both parties are not entirely sure of what to do next…

Positive signs are waking up to snuggling and morning play. Then your date is asking if you would like to go out for brunch.

Assuming your outfit from last night is daylight worthy you should brunch.  If your outfit is too revealing ask him to borrow a t-shirt or sweater. If he is cool, he will think this is adorable.

If he makes a ‘face’ and looks reluctant to let you borrow his things, be weary as he might have sharing issues… and that’s someone you do not want to associate with anyways.

So now clothes are taken care of, but what can you do about morning grooming?

You would like to appear as if you just ‘roll out’ looking super fab, even if the hours you spent prepping for last night’s date are now raccoon eyes and matted hair.

Obviously you did not pack an overnight bag, and it is way too soon in your ‘relationship’ to have things at his house…

Luckily for us ladies, there are many things in a man’s bathroom that can be used to make you look hawt, and presentable for a brunch.

1. Take a shower.  Post jiggy glow is kinda great but being fresh and clean has its benefits.  Your lover should supply you with a towel.

2. If your hair is straight make sure you wash or at least wet your hair.  Morning after hair is hard to manage, and odds are you did not fit a hairbrush, or straightener in your clutch.  You can definitely finger brush your hair and let it air dry.  In worst-case scenario, pile your hair on top of your head in a messy knot- hopefully you did fit an elastic into your purse.  If your hair is curly, leaving it as is, is probably a better idea.  Note that shaving cream makes for great styling gel.  True story! Do not over use or you will end up looking like an extra from ‘Grease’.

3. Mouthwash works as a deodorant.  It will not leave you smelling powdery fresh, but will ensure you do not have body odour thanks to it’s antibacterial properties. Do not use his deodorant.  Men’s deo’s have much stronger scents than ladies, and your lover will totally know. It’s still too soon to be using his personal grooming items.

4. Last night’s make up can be washed off with Vaseline, or any moisturizer present.  Apply to closed eyes and remove with toilet paper or corner of your towel.  Rinse with warm water.

5. Brushing your teeth using your finger and toothpaste is a little ghetto, but it does the job. Rinse with mouthwash.

6. You might consider semi-preparing before hand. If you have even the slightest notion that you will not be sleeping at your own house, having a hair tie, a mini vial of a perfume or body oil (you can finally use all those samples), and your compact are all good things to have with you.

7. Do not take too long in the bathroom or he will think you are snooping, or high maintenance or weird.  Get in there, scope out what you have to work with and try to make it out in 20 min max.

Enjoy your brunch! Hopefully it’s the first of many!

Have a jiggyfull week!

Luv, M.H.

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