Modern Hussy’s Etiquette

By the Modern Hussy

This weekend the Modern Hussy did some heavy house work in a heat wave, which pretty much resulted in a uniform of short shorts and high tops, and a slightly disheveled overall appearance.

I was running all over town buying things and carrying things not really paying too much attention to how I looked. As I was walking down the street carrying a mop and bucket I couldn’t believe the looks I was getting from the boys, intertwined with very nice compliments (which I graciously thanked for.)

Writing it off as a weird twilight zone event (and figuring that my shirt was probably see through) I did not see this as anything important, but in the days to come, as I gallivanted around with weird objects, slightly flustered, the looks and compliments continued.

I spoke with some experienced male flirts to see if I could find any kind of moral from the weekend.Turns out there totally was!

My interviewed experts said that, while they’ll totally oogle a super dressed up girl with sky high heels and mega cleavage, they are much more likely to chat up a girl who is a little bit of a mess, yet still looks totally cute. She seems much more approachable and easy going, and if she is carrying around weird things, you can tell that she doesn’t take herself too seriously and is less likely to be high maintenance.

Please see below a list of suggested objects, which can be used to get attention:

1.Totally awesome made in Germany vintage city bike. If there is a basket on it, strap inappropriate things to the basket (giant bags of ice, flowers, a painting, baguette- so obvious yet it totally works)

2. A Playstation. My amazing male friend DS said that his fiancée told him when she came back from future shop with a Playstation 3, it was like she looked like a pig on a spit and all the men had not eaten in days

3. Vintagey objects such as an old butter box, record players, chairs

4. School or profession related objects such as architectural models, musical instruments.

5. Cleaning accessories (broom, bucket). Totally gives you that whole pin up girl effect.

6. Heavy things such as suitcases or mystery boxes. If the boy offers to help, you’re golden!

*Note that dropping things adds to the overall effect and makes you appear extra adorable. Slightly klutzy is totally cute.

What Not To Do:

1. Do not take it overboard and keep dropping things while spilling ice cream on yourself (or whatever). You want to appear just a shade of a mess, not a total train wreck.

2. Do not do these things in super high heels or restrictive attire. This method works best in your fave band t-shirt, short shorts or those bum hugging jeans.

3. Do not over plan. This only works if it is not forced or intentional.

4. Lose the attitude. Even if you got the look perfectly, no one will talk to you if you are still rocking an intense bitch face.

5. Be gracious. If someone compliments you say “thank you”. If you are not interested keep walking, but if he is cute be prepared to talk about whatever it is you are carrying.

Have fun!

And never be ashamed about carrying around a mop and a bucket!

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