Modern Hussy’s Etiquette

By the Modern Hussy

Seriously? Am I really writing about this?

I didn’t think I had to, seeing how this is such an old problem and you’d think people would know better. Turns out, there is still a whole slew of girls with zero sense out there.

Okokok…so I’m a touch extra bitchy this morning seeing how I don’t ever get to have enough sleep, have no surface in my room (which is also filled with crap and boxes) to iron which basically means I wear jeans and high tops everyday to work; which without a doubt is what’s making people treat me like a junior.

Every time I step out of my house I see poverty and despair and faces of meth, and really living in the ghetto has lost its novelty.

Here is a tip, if anyone ever offers you a super fab apartment on the wrong side of the tracks, politely decline and look for something that is just ok in a fab part of town. You’d think your fab place would make you happy and make up for the ghettoness, but it really doesn’t.

It makes you want to drink 40s on the stoop while Biz Markie blasts from the stereo. And while in a cool neighborhood this makes you awesome and into old school hip hop, in a ghetto hood this, without a doubt leads to a crank addiction, and to feeling like a failure.

But I digress.

What I actually want to talk about today is how girls still have absolutely no idea how to dress themselves.

This weekend as I was driving from one major North American city to another I noticed a horrible trend.

Girls seem to have taken to wearing yoga pants on a road trip.

Understandably so, as yoga pants are comfortable and easy. Personally I am of the opinion that if you wear yoga pants anywhere outside of yoga (or on the way to yoga or from yoga, with camping as a potential exception to the rule… Yoga pants and camping are ok) you should be taken out back and slapped around a bunch until you get some common sense slapped into that annoying head of yours.

Just from that I can tell that you were that girl who wore the plaid pijama pants to class in uni and I wished you would pull yourself together even back then.

Let’s continue… I saw yoga pants, more times than I can count, on various women of various ages. But not only did these girls wear totally stupid looking pants in public, they were also pairing them with the worst footwear possible.

I saw yoga pants with UGGS (which pretty much makes me hiss and spit like an angry cat), yoga pants with high heels (really! What the eff?), and for la piece de resistance – yoga pants with cowboy boots.

Sigh.

This makes me sad for the world.

I wish I had some advice here but all I can tell you is that dressing for a road trip can involve many comfortable items that do not involve yoga pants.

I am starting to give up on humanity.

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